How The Budget Stole Aid Reform

Many thanks for the work of our Poets-in-Residence: Casey Dunning and Julie Walz.  If you'd like to revisit last year's poem, 'Twas the Night Before the QDDR, click here.  Wishing everyone happy holidays from the Rethink team – Connie, Casey, and Will.Every WonkDown in Wonk-villeLiked Reform a lot…But the BudgetWho lived just South of Wonk-villeDid NOT!The Budget hated Reform! The whole Reform season!Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.It could be that foreign aid wasn’t working quite right.It could be, perhaps, that money was too tight.But I think that the most likely reason of allMay have been that the U.S. economy was two sizes too small.But,Whatever the reason,Money or how aid performs,He stood there on Shutdown Eve, hating Reforms.“And they’re making aid requests!” he snarled with a sneer.“Reforms are coming! They’re practically here!”Then he growled with his riders surely forthcoming“I MUST find a way to keep Reform from coming!”For, soon, he knew……The city’s Wonk brigadeWould call for RCTs and IATI. They’d rush for COD aid!And then! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!That’s the one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!And the more the Budget thought of the Wonk-Reform-flingThe more the Budget thought, “I must stop this whole thing!”“Why for fifty years I’ve put up with it now!I MUST stop Reform from coming!…But HOW?”Then he got an idea!An awful idea!THE BUDGETGOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!“I know just what to do!” The Budget laughed in his throat.And he made a call to the Senate, to the House sent a note.And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Budgety trick!“With this call and that note, I’ll cut all foreign aid quick!”“This is stop number one,” The old Budget hissedAnd he marched to his desk, red pen in his fist,Where the Wonk’s projects were listed all in a row.“GHI,” he grinned, “is the first thing to go!”Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,In all sectors and agencies, he zeroed out every project – past and present!OPIC! Girls’ education and governance! PEPFAR!USAID and MCC! Climate change! Even aid to Myanmar!And the Budget grabbed Feed the Future, for which he had no loveWhen he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.He turned around fast, and he saw a Wonk true!Administrator Shah, who was not more than two (years on the job).The Budget had been caught by this man undeterred,Who’d come to the Hill to move USAID Forward.He stared at the Budget and said, “Dear Budget, why,“Why are you taking our development aid? WHY?”But, you know, that old Budget was so smart and so slickHe thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!“Why, my Administrator friend,” the Budget lied,“There are flaws in the reporting lines and aid is tied.“So I’m taking it to Approps to restructure, my dear.“I’ll fix it up there. Then I’ll bring it back here.”And the fib fooled the guy, so off he went.The Budget chuckled to himself, and cut the last cent.“They’ll all be distraught. I know just what they’ll do!“All the Wonks down in Wonk-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!”“That’s a noise,” grinned the Budget,“That I simply must hear!”So he paused. And the Budget put a hand to his ear.And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.It started in low. Then it started to grow…Every Wonk down in Wonk-ville, the tall and the small,Was improving development! Without any money at all!He HADN’T stopped Reform from coming!IT CAME!Somehow or other, it came just the same!And the Budget, with funds in escrow,Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”“It came without initiatives! It came without earmarks!“It came without fighting, Latin, or expansive remarks!”And he puzzled three hours, ‘til his puzzler was sore.Then the Budget thought of something he hadn’t before!“Maybe Reform,” he thought, “doesn’t need lots of dough.“Maybe Reform…just perhaps…means a little bit mo’!”And what happened then…?Well…in Wonk-ville they sayThat the Budget’s tiny aid allocationGrew three percent that day!And the minute the aid budget didn’t feel quite so tight,He pushed for results and made evaluations all right.And he brought back innovation! And a transparency overhaul!And he……HE HIMSELF…!The U.S. Budget embraced reform once and for all!